I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Houston, we have a blender
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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