i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
