Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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