You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
