I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize