Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
