This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
