I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
