there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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