So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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