I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
