my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
