is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
