There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
tell me about the eggs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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