so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
