why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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