Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
