her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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