I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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