Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
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New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
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THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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