I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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