Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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