Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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