Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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