cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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