I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
