billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize