Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
