I'd wear matching sweaters with you
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
ugly people sure do ruin things
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Let's get the cat blown out
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
