Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
