I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
