i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
