so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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