I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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