I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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