non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize