oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
