That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
