i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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