please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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