Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize