Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
