you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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