That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Your cock deserves a montage
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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