So drunk its hurt
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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