I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
