What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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