Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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