Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
