My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
