I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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