we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
