Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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