it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
