Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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