i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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