I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
