Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
