I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
