we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
