I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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