is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
