Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
