Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?