Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
