This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.