he puts the penis in happiness.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
