absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
