Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I believe in your delicious
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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