This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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