Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
