Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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