my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Who died my cat blue again?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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