That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
